Some people I met would disagree with me when I started making a point that love and independence go together. 'They're not even correlated,' they would say.
They would further disagree with me when I said that the phrase, "I can't live without you," is an unloving expression.
You may disagree with me, too. But before you close this tab, let me illustrate my points first.
Remember my story about a sadomasochist friend? That woman 'loved' the guy so much that even if her life was in constant danger she could not afford to leave him. She was so dependent to him for everything: for self-image, self respect, doses of addicting pain and her existence. She could not live without him.
I have not talked with the guy, but obviously he needed her too. He needed her to be the subject of his sadistic attitude. He needed her dependence on him. They needed each other. In short, theirs was a symbiotic relationship.
Genuine love can only exist between two true independent people. They don't depend for each other for approval, self-image and existence. They are complete in themselves. But in spite of this power of freedom and independence they CHOOSE to be a part of each other's life. True love is free.
This is the meaning of the phrase:
" I don't love you because I need you; I need you because I love you..."
Happy Independence Day!
photo: nattu @ flickr
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