others.
Well, after years of mud throwing, and attempts to humiliate each other in childish ways possible, nobody knew, I had a crush on her. Most of my friends hated her, but her antics and villainous fashion never failed to incite me. Don't ask me how it became us after-wards, but it happened. They called it mutual understanding. I could say, our relationship became sensual in the course of time. One day, she told me to come to their house. She would be alone. At the sound of it, I felt blood rushing to my face, my ears and my nose. I could not control my self. "This is it!" I shouted. But nobody hear that shout actually, I did it in silence. Ok, ok, I wanted to shout then, but I couldn't. "This is it!"
I took a bath, applied my best aftershave and went right away to claim my spoil. I did not expect any problem, but when I knocked on the door it was not her who opened it: a five year old child. She was not alone! I thought. I started to get frustrated. She explained that it was unexpected. Her mother had to leave her. She promised it wont be a problem. She made me wait at the sala. It was about 10:30 in the morning, but I started to perspire. I hated sweat at this time. I reached for my left pocket to pull out my handkerchief. Something came out with it and fell on the floor. It was a rosary. I immediately picked it up and put it back in my pocket as if it did not happen. I hated the priest who required us to always have a rosary in our pocket all the time. Now, it made me think. I wanted to forget all about it, but it kept drilling in my head. I told myself, "I am just human."
I heard occasional noises from the room, and the air started to smell sweet. I closed my eyes and wiped some sweat coming down my forehead. Finally, she came out. "Don't worry about the kid, she wouldn't know," she assured me. I kissed and hugged her. "I love you." I said. She did not answer back. Then I said something very stupid, "let's stop here." She looked at me without expression; just a sad blank look.
The next day, I received a letter. Like any other letters I received, it started with "Dear John,..." The letter was long. I could not remember what it all said. What I clearly remember was the thought of the whole letter: she did not believe I loved her...
To some what I did was very stupid. To her it was unloving. For me, it's was true love. True relationship should make a human being a better person. I did not believe then that it would make her a better person after that. Love is not a feeling, but a commitment to the growth of other person. I felt so much like doing 'it', but I chose to commit to her growth as a person. Love is knowing when to say no when you need to say no.
who calculates time to the nanoseconds. From the last MRT station at Edsa to MOA, with the right move I should not be late. "I have never been late," this should be my legacy. But, that night I would lose it... because of the woman I have never met before. 
was to discover their universe. The world of call center is a curious one. When I met my former students and they started telling tales of their life, it made me ask myself: "can I do what they do?" Can I take those humiliating racist comments and curses thrown at them by customers?" "Can I stay awake the whole night and be productive?" But nearly three years of stay in that environment made me get more than what I have bargained for: a good pay and an empty soul. Trickery, ubiquitous pornography, cliché kind relationships among colleagues and dark realities of business
sipped into my used-to-be principled stance in life. My decades of spiritual reap melted into the acceptance of pragmatism and hedonism. I knew I was not at home. I wanted to go back, but I could hardly remember how it felt to be at home. I asked for a redemption.
. I stopped for while and reviewed my vision. She was in her 40's, I believe, thin, and had a cane. Suddenly I understood. She was blind. Deep inside, I knew she needed a help; one mistake and she may end up under the railway. The practical side of my mind pushed my feet onto the escalator: "somebody will do it." With an occasional glance of my watch, I heeded up. But, I was almost on the second deck when still, nobody did help. Several things went into my mind. my would-be perfect attendance award and my reputation. But, she might get killed. Ahhhhh! Those seconds felt as though I were in purgatory. 
would not ask why I was late. I would simply lose that record and opportunity. But deep inside, while I was walking, for the first time in three years I felt peace. I felt forgiven, saved. It's crazy, but I felt tears coming down from my eyes. 
, or more accurately, Dell left me when it ceased to operate in MOA; it was a blessing. When I look back and think what really happened that night, I asked myself: "Did I save somebody that night? Yes, or maybe no. But, one thing for sure I know what happened that night: it was that blind lady who saved me. I am home.
meeting room, it's only that she was the only one who readily shared her problems. Everybody listened and gave their advices and condolences. As a counselor, I processed her several times. Needless to say almost all of our dealings had become an extension those sessions. 
who was a high ranking military officer. Wow, it was indeed a successful 
plan. It was executed accordingly.
y seek pain just to feel loved. 
. But since, seldom people who undergo a therapy session with a counselor or professional therapist, I would suggest you acquire a very good book of M. Scott Peck "The Road Less Traveled
." Read it and apply. This may be a long discussion. Subscribe for an update here, and I will give you practical steps on how to get out of this kind of relationship. Acquire more knowledge of this and help others. 
is the story of "The Two Oyster". Well, it sounds like that. Actually, the story teller did not really said about the title of the story. All we know was that we started paying attention to him so much when we realized that he was telling an interesting story. Here it is:
. So, whenever you feel pain inside you, ask yourself: how big this pearl will gonna be?
, 
.
be a music of praise for your wonderful deeds, in Jesus' Name. 
.