Emotional Divorce

The reason why we continue to cling to a distressful relationship lies our innate capacity to forgive, to hope and to forget. We're forgiving people; we always tend to see hope even when there's none, and we easily forget bad experiences: a kiss melts the tears away.

But, honestly, when can we say, "Hey, it's over now." ?

When both parties stop growing, when everything gets atrophic, when staying together means destruction to each one and the people around us, then it should be over.

This is true with friends, with lovers, with businesses, with our family. No, we’re not hunting for bad guys here. Maybe there is no bad guy. This one has something to do with our individual chemistry.

Is oil better than water? Or, is north nearer than south? There are times when we need to accept the phrase: “we’re not for each other.” There is emotional marriage, but there’s also an ‘emotional divorce’.  Yes, there is an emotional divorce from old friends, old lovers, former colleagues even from family members.

As Frederick Perl wrote:
“ You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful; if not, then NOT…”


Heavenly Father,
You never forced us to love You, nor to love others.
As we struggle to relate in love, we may learn to respect
Individual differences and spaces.
Give us the wisdom and the courage to say,
"It’s over, when it’s over,”
Without being uncharitable,
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen.

photo: Hancock  | posted by john b. bejo